Tuesday, December 27, 2005

I feel Young !!

Not sexy as Tata Young, but today, I go rewind 4 years. My cricketing days in Hostel 3, PU.
Aggro, passioned, Bold I stand in the middle of the pitch between Block 2 and Block 3. The guy who was self proclaimed leader of anti-me gang had this "shoot-at-sight" look on his face. Man, he was fast, and I tried to play with my heart (yet again), understandably gifting him my stumps. Wheels turn fast, I go to the "toilet-window" end and get ready with my bowling arsenal. The anti-me self proclaimed leader takes the stance. My captain handed me to open bowling knowing well I had one will there. And I could have failed miserably. I ran full throttle, swung the "Vicky-ball" with my open arm action and it landed on right spot - for him though. Bang goes the six on first ball. AM (My captain) has his hands around my shoulders with the words "its all in your mind dude - play smart-er".
The same feeling, the same heart-think brushed me and brought a wave of these memories at the basky courts here in the night-cricket tournament. But this time I did not want to calm myself and think through the acknowledged organ. I wanted this rush of blood to last, the passion to cling to me for longer. I wanted the sweat on the brow to stay, the voices of people to stay unfathomable. How much was I missing this psychological state. Click goes my mind and registers the moment into the slide show which you associate with different contextual feelings. Like the unrelenting self of the car stopped in the middle of the road to hyper-anxiety, even though there is noone in vision to beep or scream at you. Or the shouting of aunts into mouthpiece of the telephone to a trunk call. The feeling I got concerned about was passion.
It first occured to me, in an interview during my summer internship selections, where the guy asked me why does the fire-in-belly get doused with maturity? As a to-be manager, I had to reason this, find an alternative hypothesis or nip this question before it snowballed. I ran the slide show, the one for fire-in-belly, in my mind to find correlations and reasonings. Most of memories were not of recent past, and there was dust enveloping them. Dust which got collected as it was allowed to stay there. It I often try these days to tense myself, feel hurt or develop crushes so that I can cloud my thinking. It still eludes me. Is it the age (dont mistake me, I am only 24) ?

... To Be Continued !!!